


failings and futures

by tearfultantrums



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han
Genre: Canon Dialogue, Canon Rewrite, Comfort, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Snippet, aka i'm his mother, me babying peter through lara jean, team still packing his lunch and making his bed right up to 18, very tiny rewrite tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 05:23:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20371390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearfultantrums/pseuds/tearfultantrums
Summary: that scene where peter feels like shit, and lara jean drops the unc news on him in aaflj - except peter gets to briefly catch some love before that happens. >:(





	failings and futures

**Author's Note:**

> was rereading all three books in the wake of all this psisly/aaflj-film buzz (anyone else screaming?). tired!peter in AAFLJ, yet again, killed me. so i did a little rewrite of the "i got into unc!" scene, because i feel like he was validly Going Through It. (otherwise known as: he my baby so idc even if he was being overdramatic!) and i just could never get enough of them actually sitting down and spending time together, drama-free, so i'm forcing them to a little longer!
> 
> i didn't proof-read this shiz (never do), so mistakes are inevitable.

"Can we not go to Steve's tonight? I just want to stay here and hang out with you, not have to talk to people. I'm fucking exhausted," Peter lamented after having thrown himself down onto his girlfriend's couch, his sore body practically thanking him for the break it had been egregiously denied prior.

"Sure," Laura Jean had been quick to agree. Thoughts of the effort she had put towards looking appropriate for the evening were quickly forgotten, and though she still itched to tell him, her drive to share her news with him also took a backseat as weary eyes looked up at her. His exhaustion was evident in every aspect of him - physical, and from the lack of playfulness, mental as well - and it left her feeling a potent succession of sympathetic pangs, purely inspired by Peter. It wasn't often that she saw him so despondent - not sincerely, anyway. Sure, there was never a shortage of pouting and humor-driven complaints from her boyfriend; all the same, at his core Peter was always one to focus more on the bright side of things. To see him this dispirited, no effort at hiding it, was... poignant.

Of course, it wasn't the only time she had experienced a less-than-jubilant side of Peter. Should a conversation near the topic of his father, for example, he was prone to shutting down. But it was for that reason that Lara Jean kept quiet (as tempted as she was to indulge her never-ending curiosity), figuring that he'd speak once he was ready.

And he did. A minute of silence passed, but Peter eventually filled it with an almost tentative, "Those guys on the other team... they're in incredible shape. It was hard to keep up." Just that admission, simple enough, was a clear struggle for him. Getting it out had all but come paired with a grimace. "It was pretty embarrassing." He ran a hand over the back of his neck, yet another sign that he was stressed. "I need to get my act together." All this time he'd apparently kept a narrow mind, assuming that being the best of his team was equivalent to being, well... the best. That training weekend had been quick to prove him wrong, and he wasn't sure how much time he had to pick up his slack (_or if he could at all_, a less generous voice in his head made sure to whisper).

While he'd been speaking, Lara Jean had moved over to sit beside him, peering at him with a lightly furrowed brow. "Hey." She raised a single hand, settling it along one side of his face gently. "I obviously can't speak for anyone else that was there, but trust me, you are in great shape. You're the one who's made sure I never have any doubts about that." A teasing note was paired with the assurance, a poke at his more vain nature. But when Peter barely managed a smirk, her eyes softened.

"I mean it, Peter," she pressed. "All this year, you've led our team to any of its victories." And they weren't exactly with an abundance of those - since as Peter loved pointing out - there was only one of him. "You've worked so hard, taken it so seriously, put in more time than anyone I know." It was why she had been quick to stop begrudging him his entrance into UVA. It had stung, and yes, her grades had been better than his... but she _knew_ he had more than earned his scholarship. He didn't just play the sport because it cut him slack in the academics department, or because he had someone pushing it on him. He had a real passion for it, and she didn't want anything dissuading him from that now. "And you're so good at it." She may have still not known much about the sport, no matter how many times Peter and his friends attempted to teach her, but she knew when a goal was made, and she knew Peter was always making them. 

"That doesn't suddenly count for nothing because you have a small bump in the road now." Briefly, she paused before continuing, "It _is_ college. Wouldn't it be a little boring if there weren't any challenges?" That earned her a little _hmph_ sound, which in turn made her chuckle. The hand she had rested on his face shifted upward to lightly run through his hair, before she then leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead. "You're going to be so good, Peter," she promised, softer. "I know it. I've _seen_ it. This is just the beginning. You'll get the hang of things." She was feeling newly optimistic about her own future, and she wanted to share that with him. 

Finally, finally, Peter conceded to an upwards twitch of his lips. Not one of his usual grins, but something nonetheless. "Yeah, I will," he agreed, amusement - slightly forced, but there all the same - filtering into his tone. His usual brand of _cocky_ was also missing, also forced, but an attempt to be as positive as Laura Jean was clearly being made. If she was trying, he would too. Besides, though she had been keeping it down so far, he could sense a certain air of anticipation to her, the vibratory sort. It was obvious she had something to tell him herself, and he didn't want her to have to continue denying herself that for the sake of focusing on his issues - as much as he did love the attention. "Was just having an off day. I'll kick their asses for the real deal." There, he finally flashed a more sincere, full smile.

"Maybe not _kick their asses_," Laura Jean countered, shaking her head. "They are still your teammates, you know."

To that she received a cool shrug, offset by Peter pulling her into his lap, keeping his hold affectionate but lax. "Yeah, yeah. Enough about me now though." For the time being, he was effectively cheered. At least, he accepted there was nothing he could do know than look forward and know that _better_ was coming. He dropped a feather-light kiss to the side of her neck, a tacit _thank you_. "So. Are you finally going to tell me where you were last night?"

**Author's Note:**

> after writing this, idk what i was thinking figuring this was a "fIx iT", when now the context goes from "sad!peter just gets sadder" to "semi-happy!peter plummets back to sad" BUT--
> 
> anyway. now i can go work on my future mer!au for these dorks, because i'm high and i want fish!peter. :) :)


End file.
